Registration Form

Here is the registration form for the 2011 Hostess Half Marathon. It is limited to 40 runners so don't delay. First 40 to have registration forms back to me are in! Email me at coryreese1@hotmail.com if you have any questions.

I Would Do Anything For Love

Have you heard that song by Meatloaf called "I Would Do Anything For Love....But I Won't Do That"? (My sincere apologies that I have now gotten this song stuck in your head for the next five weeks.)

I thought of this song a few days ago when my wife asked me to do THAT. Would you like to know what THAT is which Meatloaf is referring to in his song "I Would Do Anything For Love....But I Won't Do THAT?"

THAT is your wife's makeup.

And apparently I'm more of a man than Meatloaf because I did do THAT.

See, my wife fell exactly two weeks ago and broke both of her elbows. She suddenly became 100% helpless. She couldn't eat. She couldn't hold anything. She couldn't even scratch her nose. After a week of looking like death warmed over (her words, not mine!) she asked if I would please put a little bit of makeup on her.

It's hard to resist your completely helpless spouse who has been laying on the bed crying in pain for a week and you want to do anything you can to help make matters better. So I did THAT. With a hefty supply of guidance and direction I put on a little bit of makeup.

It's certainly no work of art, but good enough for a first effort. I will now show you a picture of my labors.

I would do anything for love, and I DID DO THAT.

Dehydration At The Dance Festival

Last night we had the pleasure of attending the Dance Festival for the elementary school. The Dance Festival has been in existence since approximately the presidency of Abraham Lincoln. It is held in the gym of the high school which sounds like a big area. Until you try to cram in all the school children, their parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and anything else that happens to be breathing within a 100 mile radius of the school. Then it's not so big. People are packed in so closely that you are sitting on your neighbor's lap while another neighbor is sitting on yours. If you were going to catch a communicable disease, this is the place you'd catch it.



And the heat. Sweet angel of death, the heat. After sitting in the gym for an hour, the Sahara Desert would feel like a meat locker. You are sweating so much that you have to peel your clothes off you when you have the chance to stand up.

Thankfully, you are rewarded for your suffering. One highlight is the first graders who do the Chicken Dance each year. It is undeniably adorable. Adorable.

And then the finale of the dance festival is the kindergartners who perform a song called Baby Eagle as they are dressed up like little eagles. Then, during the last few minutes of the song - they hula hoop. This has been the finale since the days of Adam. And seeing a big gaggle of kindergartners dressed up as eagles hula hooping is simply the cutest thing you have ever seen. I know. You think you've seen some pretty cute things. But unless you've seen Baby Eagle, you've never seen the cutest thing ever.

I commend the teachers and staff who are able to pull this whole thing together. Just the thought of the Dance Festival must cause an anxiety attack.

Embarrassment In The Workplace

Today I had one of the more embarrassing experiences in recent memory: I passed out cold. At work.



I hate needles. Especially when it comes to getting blood drawn. The strange thing is that I really have no logical explanation for having such a fear. Aside from a little pinch, getting blood drawn doesn't even hurt. But for some reason, I end up seeing stars most times I have it done.

I work in the most ironic of environments: a dialysis center. There are needles and blood everywhere you look. People on dialysis sit there for hours on end with needles in their arm while blood leaves their body, gets cleaned, and is returned to their body. I've gotten used to it. As long as nobody is coming at me with needles.

Well, today was the day to have annual labs drawn. I had my good friend and absolute nurse-extraordinaire Jan have the honor of drawing my blood, then trying to bring me back to consciousness.

And actually - it wasn't too bad! We were almost done and I was feeling good. And then my world went black. She leaned me back and my eyes slowly came back into focus but I was pale and sweating like a politician at a town hall meeting.

To say I felt sheepish would be an understatement. A pretty big, fat understatement. I should have given her permission to slap me across the face if she saw my eyes start to roll back. Jan is so kind and didn't make fun of me. But she should have.

Wearing Ice Cream

A few nights ago my wife and I went on a date. We go on these dates every so often. Our dates involve:
1) Getting the kids to bed.
2) One of us running to Dairy Queen.
3) Sitting in bed watching a movie and eating ice cream.

But I wasn't very successful in my task of driving home with two carmel sundays. The problem was that I didn't have anywhere to put them while I drove...so I'm trying to drive home with a sunday in each hand while my knee maneuvers the steering wheel. Well....that plan works just great until you have to turn.

And then you are forced to try and hold two sundays in one hand while you make the turn. Unfortunately, by this point, the ice cream started to melt a little, and eventually got the best of me. Grrrr.

So I got home with a lap full of ice cream.

Full Moon Rising

Last week I pulled in our driveway just in time to see an incredible full moon rising over Zion National Park. Thankfully I had time to run inside and grab my camera and snapped this picture:



The funny part is that the kids were mesmerized by the moon too. In fact, Danica thought it was so awesome that she went outside early the next morning to see the moon again. But - she forgot to unlock the door as she walked outside. So when she tried to come back inside - yep - the door was locked. It was cold outside and apparently it took a while before one of the other kids heard her pounding on the door. I'm guessing she won't make that mistake again.

Why I Am Tired

Wednesdays in the life of Cory Reese are crazy. My wife works Tuesday nights so on Wednesdays I am Mr. Mom.

The joke in the extended family is that I run a little side business called Toby's Taxi Service where I shuttle kids around all day. I give props to all you moms who do this everyday because it wears me out. Let me give you an idea of my Wednesdays:

1) Kids wake up. Get them breakfast, stack dishwasher (if you're lucky), get them dressed for school, make sure homework is signed off, get their lunches packed, then off to school they go.

2) During the day I either help in their school classes or volunteer with my peeps at Dixie Care & Share.

3) Hopefully sneak in a run late afternoon.

4) Pick up kids from school, get some after-school snacks, help one daughter with homework while reminding the other daughter to practice piano, then switch.

5) 4:55pm: Take the girls to piano and pick up Jackson from piano. Get home and have 20 minutes to eat something before leaving at 5:30pm to pick up girls from piano.

6) Take girls to gymnastics at 6:00pm, finished at 7:00pm.

7) Bring them home, get them set up with a late dinner, finish homework and reading, get showers done, remind them politely 6 times to brush their teeth (the following 36 reminders aren't as polite). Then get them to bed.

8) Hope that there is still enough energy to dig the ice cream out of the freezer before falling asleep.

Dear Wind: Please Stop

I would like to inform you that I am utterly and completely sick of wind. And I am no amateur when it comes to wind. I lived in Wyoming for two years for crying out loud. When people move out of Wyoming they stand with a slant because their bodies are so accustomed to leaning into the wind so they don't blow over.


They weren't fooling around when they named our city - Hurricane. I totally understand that some wind is to be expected. But when it is crazy windy for approximately 359 out of 365 days each year, well, my friend, that is just plain nuts. Nuts.

Looking out our kitchen window into the back yard is depressing right now. The back yard is packed with tumble weeds. And I just can't bring myself to venture into the back yard to remove them. That seems like such an act of futility because I know that it won't take long before it is full of tumbleweeds again. It's just not right.

But it could be worse. Many houses in our neighborhood have been swallowed by tumbleweeds. Here is one such house:


Dear wind, please stop. We surrender. You win. Game over. Stop.

Books On The Night Stand

I go to the library often and it is constantly an overwhelming experience because I always find so many books I want to read. I love to learn. Not so much into fiction books. The biggest problem I have is finding the time to read everything I want to read. Here are the books currently on my night stand that I'm reading or will be starting soon:

Awesome New Music

Brandon Heath is one of my favorite musicians. He is an incredible song writer. I was psyched to pick up his new album called Leaving Eden debuted at #1 on the Billboard contemporary Christian chart. This song called "Your Love" from the CD is one of the best tunes I've heard in a long time. Definitely a must-listen. Enjoy!

New Music From Paul Cardall

A few nights ago our kids were thrilled to have piano-playing royalty come to our house. The kids were mesmerized that Billboard Recording Artist Paul Cardall was in OUR living room. Playing OUR piano.


Paul and his wife Lynnette have been friends for many years and we always have fun whenever we are able to get together. There was more than one occasion when I laughed so hard that Diet Mountain Dew almost came out of my nose. (Now that could have been embarrassing to have a fizzy wet spot down my shirt and lap.)

I have good news for you: Paul has a brand new CD called "New Life" coming out February 14th! I have heard the album and can attest that it is nothing short of awesome. Remember when you were in middle school and Bon Jovi was the most awesome thing ever? Yea - it's that awesome (minus the long, flowing mullet). The background orchestra is enough to give you chills. (But not the same kind of chills you would get if you spilled Diet Mountain Dew down your lap. Thank goodness.) If you're a fan of piano music this is definitely one to check out. You can click here to pre-order.

Kids+Basketball=Funny

My nine year old boy Jackson loves basketball. He loves to watch it and he loves to play it. He was thrilled when we told him he could sign up for the city basketball league. Our family had the pleasure of going to his first basketball game a few weeks ago.

In a proud parent moment, Jackson scored HALF of the team's points for the game! Half!

Incidentally, scoring half of the team's points meant making one basket.

In a shocking conclusion, Jackson's team total of four points was not enough to hold off the opposing team. Who'd have thunk. I am thankful that at this age the kids aren't crazy-competitive and can still say after the game that they had fun, even if they did get creamed. Behold......Jackson's two points:

The School Food Fight

I went to Eastmont Middle School which apparently didn't have it in the budget to buy a power generator.

And you're asking yourself "Who cares?" Well, I care. Because I nearly lost my life as a result of their lack of a generator to create electricity in the event of a power outage.

The design of Eastmont is unique. The lunch room is right in the middle of the school, and then hallways surround the lunch room, which lead to class rooms. So the middle of the school has not seen a ray of sunlight since the roof was put on.

So one day me and the rest of my I'm-really-nerdy-but-I-think-I'm-awesome friends were eating lunch in the dungeon cafeteria. And then the power goes out. It's pitch black. You can't see your hand in front of your face. You are enveloped by a sea of darkness. And immediately chaos erupted. I'm talking ERUPTED.

Two things happened instantaneously. 1) Lots and lots of screaming. And 2) Food started flying everywhere. EVERYWHERE. And then I started to hear the ringing of silverware hitting the tables and floor. People were chucking their forks! And then I heard the banging of cafeteria trays. People were chucking their trays! Me and my I'm-really-nerdy-but-I-think-I'm-awesome friends feared for our lives.

A miracle happened at Eastmont Middle School that day. I was not hit by one piece of flying silverware, nor one solitary tray. I was shocked that I hadn't become a casualty of this spontaneous war in the dark. In less than 30 seconds the lights came back on and we were amazed to see the battle field which had been created. I wouldn't be surprised if Eastmont came up with some money after that experience to buy a generator.

Our Airport Mishap

Neither my wife or I may be the brightest light bulb on the chandelier although we can usually fend for ourselves. But we seem to have more than our share of glitches when it comes to traveling.

We had some free airline tickets to use after our Hawaii glitch where an engine went out as we were flying above the ocean, we had to return to land, were welcomed on the runway by a line of fire trucks and ambulances, and then got to spend a day of our vacation in Portland while they fixed the airplane.

So a few weeks ago we decided to use our tickets for a spontaneous trip to California to run in the Southern California Half Marathon. (To be honest with you, I contemplated letting the tickets go to waste because I positively despise, fear, and loathe airplanes.)


We got to the airport in Las Vegas and passed the sign showing which gate each flight was departing from. Mel said it was gate D36. I just walked by it quickly but when I glanced I thought it said D26. I brought this up to her but she said it was indeed D36. I am a man, and don't pay attention to details so I trusted that my wife knew what she was talking about.

It turns out that this was one of the very, very few times where I was right.

I mentioned my concern a few more times but she reassured me that we were just fine. We joked that it would be funny if we were sitting at the wrong gate. Well......we waited and waited at D36 and the plane was late arriving. We thought that was strange. Everyone seemed to be waiting around, and an attendant said over the loud speaker that the plane would be arriving soon, it would be cleaned quickly, and then we could start boarding.

Then a little while later over the intercom they said the flight to Seattle would be boarding soon! But we weren't going to Seattle. We were going to California. Yep. Our gate was indeed D26! So we ran as fast as we could through the airport to the other side of the terminal. When we were nearing the gate we heard over the intercom “Last call for Reese, party of two.” We made it with one minute to spare. And that made for a good laugh.

We didn't tell the other passengers why we got on the plane huffing and puffing.

My Second Birthday

My birthday was one week ago. Much to my dismay, I did not realize that this was also National Hey-Kids-Be-As-Grumpy-As-You-Can Day. Our children played the part well. In fact, I nominated each of them for the award of Most Likely To Make Your Parent Go Psychotic. Certainly a proud fatherly achievement.

But seriously, the kids were nuts. ALL. DAY. And I'm ashamed to say that this rubbed off on me also. I was part of stiff competition with the kids to see who could be the grumpiest member of the family. By the end of the night, I may have won (although each of the children apologized, saying "Sorry we ruined your birthday.").

I was not thrilled with the attitude my children had. But I was most disappointed in myself. So I made an official declaration that for this year, my birthday was not going to be on December 19th. I moved it forward a few days to Thursday.

I even went to the store and bought myself some new birthday presents: a $1 bag of butterscotch discs, a bag of Reese's peanut butter cups, and a brownie mix.


I am happy to report that the new birthday was much better than the old birthday. From this day forward, I reserve the right to adjust any birthdays, and I am officially cancelling National-Hey-Kids-Be-As-Grumpy-As-You-Can-Day.

Parents, you're welcome.