Thursday, January 20, 2011

The School Food Fight

I went to Eastmont Middle School which apparently didn't have it in the budget to buy a power generator.

And you're asking yourself "Who cares?" Well, I care. Because I nearly lost my life as a result of their lack of a generator to create electricity in the event of a power outage.

The design of Eastmont is unique. The lunch room is right in the middle of the school, and then hallways surround the lunch room, which lead to class rooms. So the middle of the school has not seen a ray of sunlight since the roof was put on.

So one day me and the rest of my I'm-really-nerdy-but-I-think-I'm-awesome friends were eating lunch in the dungeon cafeteria. And then the power goes out. It's pitch black. You can't see your hand in front of your face. You are enveloped by a sea of darkness. And immediately chaos erupted. I'm talking ERUPTED.

Two things happened instantaneously. 1) Lots and lots of screaming. And 2) Food started flying everywhere. EVERYWHERE. And then I started to hear the ringing of silverware hitting the tables and floor. People were chucking their forks! And then I heard the banging of cafeteria trays. People were chucking their trays! Me and my I'm-really-nerdy-but-I-think-I'm-awesome friends feared for our lives.

A miracle happened at Eastmont Middle School that day. I was not hit by one piece of flying silverware, nor one solitary tray. I was shocked that I hadn't become a casualty of this spontaneous war in the dark. In less than 30 seconds the lights came back on and we were amazed to see the battle field which had been created. I wouldn't be surprised if Eastmont came up with some money after that experience to buy a generator.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Our Airport Mishap

Neither my wife or I may be the brightest light bulb on the chandelier although we can usually fend for ourselves. But we seem to have more than our share of glitches when it comes to traveling.

We had some free airline tickets to use after our Hawaii glitch where an engine went out as we were flying above the ocean, we had to return to land, were welcomed on the runway by a line of fire trucks and ambulances, and then got to spend a day of our vacation in Portland while they fixed the airplane.

So a few weeks ago we decided to use our tickets for a spontaneous trip to California to run in the Southern California Half Marathon. (To be honest with you, I contemplated letting the tickets go to waste because I positively despise, fear, and loathe airplanes.)

We got to the airport in Las Vegas and passed the sign showing which gate each flight was departing from. Mel said it was gate D36. I just walked by it quickly but when I glanced I thought it said D26. I brought this up to her but she said it was indeed D36. I am a man, and don't pay attention to details so I trusted that my wife knew what she was talking about.

It turns out that this was one of the very, very few times where I was right.

I mentioned my concern a few more times but she reassured me that we were just fine. We joked that it would be funny if we were sitting at the wrong gate. Well......we waited and waited at D36 and the plane was late arriving. We thought that was strange. Everyone seemed to be waiting around, and an attendant said over the loud speaker that the plane would be arriving soon, it would be cleaned quickly, and then we could start boarding.

Then a little while later over the intercom they said the flight to Seattle would be boarding soon! But we weren't going to Seattle. We were going to California. Yep. Our gate was indeed D26! So we ran as fast as we could through the airport to the other side of the terminal. When we were nearing the gate we heard over the intercom “Last call for Reese, party of two.” We made it with one minute to spare. And that made for a good laugh.

We didn't tell the other passengers why we got on the plane huffing and puffing.