Well, okay. Not exactly. “You Will Soar” and its creative, intellectually stimulating, well-groomed creator didn’t win. So, you ask, why have I posted a picture of myself jubilantly holding an award?
We happened to be in the back of the room before the ceremony started and we saw an award sitting unsupervised on a table. I have to credit my step-dad for coming up with the idea: “Hey – go grab the trophy and I’ll take a picture of you with it!” Brilliant.
Fortunately for attendees, there weren’t long, drawn-out acceptance speeches. But…had there been long, drawn-out acceptance speeches, and….had I won, I’m thinking my speech would have been something like this:
Wow. I’m humbled and flattered to be given this honor. I feel sorry for all you non-winners who drove from as far as southern Utah and are returning home with nothing more than heartburn.
I’d like to thank my wife and family for your support, love, and patience as I stay up really late at night to work on music.
I’d like to thank Hostess for your scrumptious Cup Cakes, Twinkies, and Snowballs. If I could choose any product to trigger Type 2 Diabetes, I’d choose yours.
I’d like to thank Hall & Oats for your song “Man Eater” which inspired me as a small child to be a musician.
I must thank radio talk show host Glenn Beck for making me laugh everyday on the way to work.
You like me. You really like me!
Thanks also to the Cowden family, whose cat jumps over our wall to eat our dog food when the dogs aren’t watching. I couldn’t have done it without you.
(Just for clarification purposes, that part about Hall & Oats is a complete and utter lie. Hostess part – not a lie.)
2 comments:
Ya so we are totally embarrassed, are you sure it's OUR cat. Their are so many around here. We too have a neighbor cat that comes and eats our cat food when no one is watching, and hides under our cars in our garage. Thanks for the credit I must admit I'm honored that I would have been apart of you acceptance speech.
I needed to make some sort of feline reference. I considered Mel's aunt who has a cat so old that it should have met it's maker by now, but that didn't seem appropriate. Therefore, your cat made the cut.
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