Last night we had the pleasure of attending the annual elementary school picnic. What is that you say? You don't know what an elementary school picnic is? Allow me to describe:
1) Elementary school administrators obtain every ketchup packet within a 5-county radius.
2) Teachers are hanging out in faculty meeting when the principal says "Who wants to be in charge of barbecuing the hot dogs at the picnic?" And everyone screams "NOT IT!!!!!!"
3) A few teachers are sleeping and don't hear the question. So the names of those sorry suckers are written down on the naughty list and become the official barbequers.
4) Those teachers then realize that they are in charge of barbecuing 7,200 hot dogs. They start to cry uncontrollably.
Okay, I admit it. All those descriptions are purely speculative. But I'd be willing to bet that this is what happens.
But what I AM sure of is what happens at exactly 6:00pm on the night of the picnic: approximately 7,200 elementary school children, their parents, aunts, uncles, third cousins, cashiers at Home Depot, and every other breathing mammal within a 5-county radius shows up and gets in line for a free hot dog and chips. Laughs are shared, bonds are formed, and great fun is had by all. It's amazing how many people will show up for free food (guilty).