Cory: I’d like to thank you for allowing me to interview you today.
Cory: No problem. I can be bribed to do anything with sugary junk food.
Cory: Speaking of junk food, it seems like you mention Hostess Donuts a lot on your website.
Cory: Weird, I’ve noticed that too. Here’s the deal: I like candy and junk food just as much as the next guy. But Hostess Donuts are in a completely different ball park. They are incredible. On the seventh day...God created Hostess Donuts. Plus, since I’m running, I can make a legitimate argument that Hostess Donuts count as carbo-loading.
Cory: What is your most embarrassing moment?
Cory: Boy, that's hard to narrow down. One that comes to mind is when I was a youngster passing the sacrament at church. I accidentally bumped the tray of water on a bench and spilled the whole tray of water into some lady's lap. What do you say after that? "Sorry. Here, let me wipe that off for you." Uh, don't think so. So you just stand there looking dumb.
Cory: Understood. Thanks for the clarification. And your thoughts on Taylor Swift?
Cory: Hmmm, I’m a little uncomfortable answering this question. At the risk of surrendering my Man Card, I’ll admit that I don’t mind her music. I don’t actively seek it out, but I’m okay being a casual listener. I think she’s a good singer and song-writer.
Cory: So if that puts your Man Card in jeopardy, here’s your chance for redemption. What is the most manly thing you do?
Cory: Feed the kids cereal for dinner when mom’s not home.
Cory: The kids must love you!
Cory: They don’t call me Cap'n Crunch for nothing.
Cory: Alright, lets stop dancing around the elephant in the room. Don’t you find it a bit peculiar that you are interviewing yourself?
Cory: Good point. But it’s not nearly as peculiar as other things I do. Such as watching baseball on television. And enjoying it.
Cory: You’ve got to be kidding! I thought they were using baseball on television as a way to torture prisoners of war.
Cory: Gosh, you don’t need to be rude about it.
Cory: Sorry, my bad. I’d like to thank you for this fascinating interview.
Cory: My pleasure. It’s my night for dinner. Pass the Frosted Flakes.