Tuesday, January 19, 2010

My Name Is Cory And I'm A Sugar Addict

My body has spiraled into a deep chasm of decay. Everything started to crumble about a month ago during a stop at the Maverik gas station.

I'll just be honest with you. I like to eat me some fat, pink frosted sugar cookies. Unfortunately, Maverik happened to be out of fat, pink frosted sugar cookies during my visit. So I settled for the sub-par oatmeal raisin cookie. Without warning, I died and went to heaven.

Ever since then, I have had a mad craving for oatmeal raisin cookies. But this also triggered an all-out, diabetes-inducing need for all things sugar.

It's as if every ounce of self-control has been decayed. I'm popping cookies like I just ended a hunger strike. I down raspberry-filled donuts without remorse. I'm ingesting Nutter Butters frequently enough that my tongue is beginning to resemble a peanut. I realize that my bones are slowly crystallizing into a sweet confectionery treat. And I don't care. I'm trying to feel guilty. Really. I'm trying.

And to speed my trajectory down this slippery slope of sugar, I made oatmeal cookies this weekend. This is akin to a meth addict deciding it's a good idea to start his own meth lab in the bathtub. And I was grateful that nobody in my house likes oatmeal raisin cookies. I didn't want to share anyway.

I'm a little worried because I'm training for a marathon coming up in less than four months. And yet during the grueling marathon training, the only fuel I'm giving my body comes from Hostess. Or Maverik.


Dansie Family said...

you are carb loading. and next time you make some, bring some over.

Tonya Mae said...

I'll make you a batch of oatmeal cookies that will leave you BEGGING for more. And mine are nutritious, too. Incredibly delicious, but nutritious - as cookies get anyway. I load them with craisins, raisins, pecans and almonds, if ya like. But you will have to yield another one of your fine CD's to me; or at least come and play "God Be With You 'Til We Meet Again" in my ward. :) That song makes me MELT. I love your rendition of it. Surely I have qualified for these macadamia nuts as well as a fine CD now, haven't I??