Tuesday, January 19, 2010

My Name Is Cory And I'm A Sugar Addict

My body has spiraled into a deep chasm of decay. Everything started to crumble about a month ago during a stop at the Maverik gas station.

I'll just be honest with you. I like to eat me some fat, pink frosted sugar cookies. Unfortunately, Maverik happened to be out of fat, pink frosted sugar cookies during my visit. So I settled for the sub-par oatmeal raisin cookie. Without warning, I died and went to heaven.

Ever since then, I have had a mad craving for oatmeal raisin cookies. But this also triggered an all-out, diabetes-inducing need for all things sugar.

It's as if every ounce of self-control has been decayed. I'm popping cookies like I just ended a hunger strike. I down raspberry-filled donuts without remorse. I'm ingesting Nutter Butters frequently enough that my tongue is beginning to resemble a peanut. I realize that my bones are slowly crystallizing into a sweet confectionery treat. And I don't care. I'm trying to feel guilty. Really. I'm trying.

And to speed my trajectory down this slippery slope of sugar, I made oatmeal cookies this weekend. This is akin to a meth addict deciding it's a good idea to start his own meth lab in the bathtub. And I was grateful that nobody in my house likes oatmeal raisin cookies. I didn't want to share anyway.



I'm a little worried because I'm training for a marathon coming up in less than four months. And yet during the grueling marathon training, the only fuel I'm giving my body comes from Hostess. Or Maverik.

2 comments:

Dansie Family said...

you are carb loading. and next time you make some, bring some over.

Tonya Mae said...

I'll make you a batch of oatmeal cookies that will leave you BEGGING for more. And mine are nutritious, too. Incredibly delicious, but nutritious - as cookies get anyway. I load them with craisins, raisins, pecans and almonds, if ya like. But you will have to yield another one of your fine CD's to me; or at least come and play "God Be With You 'Til We Meet Again" in my ward. :) That song makes me MELT. I love your rendition of it. Surely I have qualified for these macadamia nuts as well as a fine CD now, haven't I??