Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Effective Weight Loss Plan

Boy, have I got a weight loss plan for you!

It's called "Seasonal Allergies".

The method is actually very simple. All you have to do is breathe between the months of March and October. Just breathe! All that pollen, cotton, and ragweed infest your helpless body. Then your eyes start to water as if you just poured battery acid on them. And your nose starts to run like a fire hose. Between the constant nose-blowing and eye-watering, massive amounts of water will leave your body and the pounds will melt away.

Unfortunately I have become a professional in the art of allergy suffering. A large portion of our monthly net income goes toward Kleenex. The area under my nose is raw from its frequent encounters with tissue. When I talk, it sounds like I have Silly Putty packed up my nose.

A few days ago my son confided in Mel that he thought she should make my favorite dessert for me because I was looking sad - because I was crying. I told him later that the tears were from my eyes watering. But......I thought it was still a good idea for Mel to make my favorite dessert. That seems like a good strategy for combating the allergy-induced weight loss.

1 comment:

Tonya Mae said...

Love the picture, Herb. ;) I had horrendous allergies when I lived over in town by the temple, but since moving out near Washington - just south of Stadium 10, they are much, much better. I still have them, but I don't have to walk around with a wet washcloth across my face and battle the temptation to ram a boar brush down my throat.