I believe I am VERY, VERY attractive. Not the kind of attractive where people of the opposite gender find me visually appealing. Not the kind of attractive where girls showed even a sliver of interest in middle school. Not the kind of attractive where women wonder if I enjoy candle-lit dinners and long walks on the beach. In fact, with my looks, it is possible that my wife had glaucoma while we were dating.
Nope, not physically attractive. I am very attractive to MOSQUITOES.
It is the one thing I dread about summer. I inevitably have numerous mosquito bites, which I may be allergic to, because they all swell up to the size of a 50 cent piece.
Yesterday on my arm I found 7 bites within a one-inch radius. SEVEN! This is completely unacceptable. My flesh does not appreciate this. I have no idea when this could have happened. Other than the marathon a week ago, I haven't really been outside. And I think even mosquitoes would have the decency to not bite someone who is in the middle of running 26 miles.
Wo is me. Such is the life of someone who is so attractive.