Woman Behind The Wheel

We have semi-frequent automobile "incidents" at my house.

We have a two-car garage. But with our storage boxes, kids bikes, yard tools, and other useless stuff we'll use someday never, our two-car garage has held two cars exactly zero times. In a show of respect for the female gender, my car has held the permanent parking spot in the garage exactly.....zero times. My sweet wife's vehicle is always there.

But, instead of parking in the street, sometimes I park in the driveway. I only park there when I expect that I will be leaving before Mel. But this decision has proven costly. Literally. You see, my sweet wife has somehow managed to back her car into my car. Not once! Not twice!

But THREE TIMES!!!!!

I ain't kidding you. My wife has backed into my car....three times. For the life of me, I still don't comprehend how she missed the fact that my car was parked right behind hers.

I know what all you females are going to say. "Well, why did you park your car there?" And my response is "Isn't that what the rear view mirror is for? It is my driveway just as much as it's hers." Really, how can you miss a half ton piece of metal on wheels? (Disclaimer: I have no idea what the actual weight of my car is.) And never once did I say "If you would just let me park in the garage, this would have never happened." Surely my compassion deserves at least one pat on the back.

The hood of my car has a peculiar little hump on it. So everytime I struggle to open or shut the hood which has been deformed due to this abuse, I smile and think of my sweet (and sometimes oblivious) wife.