Over the last three months, I have ingested at least 22 pounds of pumpkin pie. I've arrived at this figure by multiplying the minimum number of pies I've eaten (at least 8 1/2) by the weight of a Costco pumpkin pie (2.68 pounds). When you add how many buckets of whipped cream topped my pie, you've got yourself a gourd full of heavenly goodness.
Hearing this total may make someone question my honesty. Any of my in-laws or my wife will happily verify the truthfulness of my claims. My pumpkin pie consumption is greater than the weight of this big muther bunny:
Snopes.com confirms that this is an authentic, gargantuan rabbit weighing 17 pounds, which is still measly compared with my impressive 22 pounds. The average American consumes 6 pieces of pie a year. I've long since left the average American in the dust.