Monday, June 22, 2009

I Was Abused

Something unfortunate happened on Saturday.

I verbally abused myself. It's true.

The abuse transpired over the course of running 17 miles. You see, I have this little problem where I sometimes kick my ankles while I'm running. This happens when I start to get careless or sloppy and don't pay attention to what my bird legs are doing. FYI, this hurts!

Around the sixth time, I gave myself a good kick and my ankle started bleeding. I let out a loud "AARRRGGHH!" and the berating began. I chastised myself for being clumsy and for forgetting to put preemptive Band-Aids on my ankles before I started the run (I had this brilliant idea the day before, and meant to set out some Band-Aids so I wouldn't forget).

I chewed out my ankles for being so bony and obtrusive. I belittled myself for choosing socks that didn't cover my ankles. Are some longer socks too much to ask for!?! ?

"Get down and give me 20! Your mama dresses you funny.! You buy your clothes at a skirt shop! Your breath smells like tuna fish! I've seen a pine tree with more personality than you have! You're as pleasant as a swift kick to the groin!"

The abuse was hurtful, derogatory, and demeaning. I'm now giving myself therapy to begin healing from the abuse.

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